Thursday, March 08, 2007

Hitting Women

The Menteri Besar of Kelantan, and PAS spiritual leader, Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat made an off the cuff comment with regards to the use of force by the Police yesterday. Essentially he said that the public cannot blame the police if they are forced to resort to such measures. While his comment leaves room for ethical debate, his subtantiation for his argument however, leaves a bad taste in the mouth (to say the least).

He argued that "Islam itself permits a father to hit a child, a husband to hit a wife in certain situations. This is practiced throughout the world."

Umm... excuse me, Tok Guru, which "world" are you talking about? The medieval world of the 13th century?

There is absolutely no reason for a husband to hit a wife, or a man to hit a woman under any circumstances. There is no situation I can think of in which violence is necessary or even justified.

A relationship between a husband and wife is built on trust, mutual respect and love. This relationship cannot be strengthened through fear and violence. We are not even talking about human rights here. The simple fact is a marital relationship breaks down with a physically abusive spouse.

No man or woman is without shortcomings. In a loving marital relationship, we learn to live and work around these shortcomings to strengthen our understanding of our partners better. In matters of dispute, a gentle discussion focused on the objective of resolving the issue at hand should be carried out instead. Hitting the wife does not resolve the dispute, it merely postpones and snowballs the problem.

And even when the disagreement cannot be resolved to the total satisfaction of all parties, there should be tolerance and forgiveness in the hearts of both parties.

I hope that Tok Guru will clarify his statement to protect the interest of women, and not have his words used as by unscrupulous men to abuse their wives.

Today is International Womens' Day to celebrate and promote the interest of womenfolk young and old, irrespective of race or religion. Hitting women is a big no no.

Now, hitting on women? That's a different matter altogether ;)


Anonymous said...

in present modern developed times no man should be ever allowed to beat his wife.

but it seems in the old fashioned undeveloped ancient world, there was this story about the phrase " Rule of Thumb " where under a particular country's common practice, it allowed the husband to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than the diameter of his thumb.

and that also it was told that the practice was subsequently abolished..

Anonymous said...

under any circumstances?? what if she is trying to stab me, lol.

Anonymous said...

the rebirth of Afgha"spirit",
he is.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tony,

You have to forgive this old man , he is just a senile old man who does not know what he was talking about.

Anonymous said...

Remember Mr Yip of the Vietnamese bride furore....he claimed his wife beats him and want to cut of his two nuts!

I seemed to see nowadays among Chinese couples, the ladies are more dominant. They drag their man aggresively and the men feel like eunuchs!
Indians are well known wife beaters...why not make that an issue?

Anonymous said...

Now, hitting on women? That's a different matter altogether ;)
Tony boy is being naughty-naughty here. Tell your wife then only you know..hehe

Anonymous said...

@ anonymous 1:37 pm,

That feminist myth about the "rule of thumb" is just tripe. The "rule of thumb" actually relates to using guess-timation based on experience, and had more to do with carpenters rather than wife-beating.
Laws prohibiting wife-beating had already been in existence in 18th cent. England and the American colonies.
Some people need to go read Blackstone's commentaries again.

How about something instead to prevent violence against men? Or do we really believe in the existence of a Patriarchy, which is just about as bad as believing in Santa?

Anonymous said...

stop relating violence against women with a certain race. if u are a real man u dont need to use violence

Anonymous said...

Yes! If you are a real man, use your powerful khram to subdue yr wife :))

I think it is most likely Mrs TP beat TP...just look at the pic...she is so dominant and aggressive and TP is so soft

he he

Anonymous said...

I read the comment somewhere saying that Islam permits husband hits the wife, as long as she does not bleed. Can some Muslim reader verify that is it true?

Dreamer said...

Considering corruption is so rampant in this country, i wonder why the men didn't just try to bribe their wives instead of hitting em. I'm totally against women discrimination in this society, especially the tudung and khalwat thing.

Anonymous said...

Dude, please leave PAS aside, you need to look at the bigger picture, especially the recent unfavorable events involving our government. Work on those instead. The general elections can be anytime. Everyone is counting on the opposition to hit hard on the government.

PAS on the other hand can be your collaborators.

Anonymous said...

Dont hit your wife...its too old fashion and out dated

Try using C4 explosives more efficient!

Anonymous said...

Saya pukul saya punya bini, apa you nak kisah? Saya bukan pukul you punya bini... Dia tak suka kalu, boleh balik rumah mak bapak dia lah..

Yang Menurut Perintah,
Suma Wai Loo

Anonymous said...

Tak bolih! Kalu lu pukul lu punya bini nanti lu tak dapat lu punya jadi gila!

Anonymous said...

The Indians have been regularly beating their wives, yet Samy Vellu does not complain..

Ayo yo...adepek!!

mob1900 said...

You should disallow anonymous comments.

Anonymous said...

Having a nickname is as good as being anonymous!
After all having a nickname does not reflect your true identity!